this morning i got to go to an important meeting. for someone like me who sits at a desk all day, this was sort of exciting. my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss was there, as well as 3 astronauts, including the commander of the next mission. it was cool, and also very interesting. good questions were asked. some bad ones too, but hey.
so when things happen in my friendships that aren’t to my satisfaction, i usually blame myself. it is depressingly easy for me to come up with an action or reaction on my part that could be to blame for whatever has annoyed/frustrated/saddened me. sometimes i am the culprit, but sometimes i’m not. and sometimes it’s mutual. regardless, it is even easier to forget the situation, and disappear for a while.
the problem is that i never really do forget; i only pretend to. and i never really convince myself that i couldn’t have done something differently to avoid the situation in the first place.
but last week i was reminded of something i often forget, and that is that i cannot control the actions of another. that the definition of “insanity is the act of doing the same things and expecting different results.” that it’s not always my fault. and that all i can do is be myself and hope that people will remember the good things and forgive the bad. or, as is sometimes the case with me, forgive not the bad but simply the unreasonable.
tonight i’m going to chicago. the musical, not the city. ha.