i have many things to say today. on many different subjects.
on running: i was thinking about this last night as i went running for the first time in 5 days, and had decided to post about it. coincidentally, carter touched on the subject this morning, as if he read my mind. anyway. my shin splints have really been bothering me lately despite my best efforts of streching them, icing them, and generally trying to be nice to them. a few people have asked me why i keep running if they bother me, and well, i realized last night that i have a lot of reasons.
1) i’ve always wanted to be athletic, and maybe it’s just not in my genes. but i run because i want to be good at (or at least able to stick with) doing something athletic.
2) since i started running, i’ve lost weight and gained muscle. i look better and i have more endurance. i like that.
3) since i started running, i sleep better. i like that too.
4) since i started running, i deal with stress better. i really like that.
5) i do want to get married someday, and i don’t want the man i marry to have to settle for the overweight, out-of-shape version of sarah.
6) i don’t want to settle for the overweight, out-of-shape version of sarah.
so that is that.
on crazy professors: this is for karen. on friday while i was back at tech for the day, i stopped in to visit one of my old professors. dr. kamat is a tiny indian man who is very exciteable and generally amusing. i knocked and poked me head in his office and he exclained for a while over what a surprise it was to see me and how i looked really good (oooook, bit strange). anyway, we chatted for a few minutes and he asked about ron.
me: “oh, ron’s great, actually he’s getting married in two weeks!”
dr. kamat: “ohhhhh, really, that is wonderful, when are you getting married?”
me: “uh…not anytime soon.”
dr. kamat: “nooooo?”
me: “no.”
conversation ensues. kent, who had been out putting up a poster, comes into the office.
dr. kamat: “kent, when are you getting married?”
kent: (laughing) “not anytime soon.”
dr. kamat: “ohhhhh. sarah, you?”
me: (laughing) “i already said not soon, i mean, i have to find a guy first!”
dr. kamat: “oh, but that is not hard, you can find one on the internet!”
kent and me: (rolling on the floor with laughter)
dr. kamat: (innocently) “whaaat?”
on the internet. sheesh.
then dr. sankar and dr. jagoda, hearing all the commotion, poked their heads in the door and asked if they could join the party. and dr. jagoda commenced an attempt to lure me back to tech for grad school. that man is always recruiting. i tried to see dr. seitzman, but he was busy.
on unflattering pictures: i don’t think i ever posted these, but the photographers at the rodeo run a month ago got pictures of becca and me during the race. here is becca, and here is me. i don’t quite know why races hire photographers, if for no other reason than to capture people in amusing and/or painful positions.
on love, life, and jobs: i’ve always thought that i hated change. this stance was based simply on the vehemence i have felt toward such things as graduating from college, having a good friendship fade, and watching a relationship suffer. i thought change was bad. but recently i have realized that i secretly ache for change. i like my job, and i like my life, and in general i am happy, but i am so restless. going out of town, as i did this past weekend, does nothing but amplify this feeling. the worst times are when my restlessness is accompanied by loneliness, as it has been in the past couple months.
i forget how much i miss things and people and scents and feelings until i have them again, if only for a few days. it’s like it all comes crashing back. for better and for worse. we have our tiffs just like we always did, and they still bother me, but then…
it’s not everywhere that does this to me. it’s just where my friends are. perhaps i became too emotionally involved in those friendships, and those people, even the ones i didn’t get to see this weekend. maybe i invested too much. but i can’t help it now. i like them too much.
and then my mini-vacation ends, and i am on the plane back to houston and as it lands i think “it’s so nice to be home…wait, this is home?” it’s a feeling of both relief and…i don’t know, disappointment? maybe just uncertainty.
and then i wonder where i’m going, and i wonder if i’ll ever find where i belong.
on airports: i have become indifferent to flying, to the part that involves actually being on the plane and waiting patiently to get to your destination. i mean, the magic of getting in a metal tube in one city and exiting in another city still excites me but it’s the airports themselves that i find i like more and more. as long as i’m not late for a flight and have the time to stroll, i like walking around, stopping at the magazine rack, watching the people. all the chaos has exactly the opposite effect you’d expect–instead of stressing me out, it sort of calms me down. and airports are great for people-watching. i like to guess where they’re going, or coming from. the guy in the business suit with the cell phone permanently attached to his ear is obviously stressing out over some deal or meeting, and so i don’t spend more than a glance or two on them. but the girl in the orange t-shirt and flip flops with the headphones…where is she going? the cute guy with the 5 o’clock shadow and the ragged khaki shorts…what’s he thinking? i dunno. maybe i am weird. but i like to wonder.