it has been raining on and off today, which is strange. i thought it wasn’t supposed to rain in may here. ah well. weather is strange. i still haven’t totally gotten over the wonderful fact that it is the middle of may, and it’s not hot and humid outside already. lovely.
often when it rains, i can look outside my window at the roof of the building next door and see it steaming. in fact, it’s steaming as i type this. i wonder why this happens. i guess the roof must warm up a lot from having the sun shine on it.
i’m stressed out with school though. i have things to do, but really don’t feel like doing them. ugh. tomorrow is the 271 midterm. it’s open book, open notes.
in the mail today, i got a letter addressed to “the family of sarah graybeal” offering them (and me) a free 9-month $10,000 life insurance policy through the stanford alumni association when i graduate. this makes me laugh.
i also got a letter from g. wayne clough himself (everyone say “ooh aah”) inviting me to “one of two special meetings in the greater san francisco area. they are among 36 global leadership identification program meetings we are holding around the country and overseas to ask key alumni like you to help us identify the next generation of leaders who will propel georgia tech to new heights.”
i wonder if this is actually something worthwhile, something that i should attend…or if it will be boring as hell. if they’re just going to ask me for money, well, too bad, i have no money. oh wait. i just read it again, and the letter says i won’t be asked for money. hmmm, in that case, i am even more curious to know if the meeting is something in which i should participate. i tend to have a very jaded view of georgia tech politics, and would be quite annoyed if that’s all it is.
hee hee, i just noticed that on the registration form they sent me, under the heading “student organizations/activities”, they have listed “president’s scholar.” well eureka, that’s why i got the letter. hmm. i would feel much more motivated to go if they had sent it to me because i was an editor for the ‘nique, or because i was president of both aerospace student organizations at one time or the other. i don’t put much importance on the fact that i was a president’s scholar, other than the fact they gave me less than 1/8 of what i needed to pay for 4 years of school. the money was helpful, if only a little. but basing my importance on the fact that i was a ps….ugh. give me a break.
anyway, enough ranting about gt politics and the ps program. 
(12:06 a.m.)
i don’t know whether i’m just bad at keeping in touch with people, or whether they’re bad at keeping in touch with me. it becomes harder and harder when i perceive little response. from james:
My email subject is my new nickname for you… “The black hole of email.” I send you email, and it seems like you rarely respond.
his remark is accurate, i have to admit, which is too bad, because he sends me email on a regular basis. even if it’s just to say hi, which is more than i can say for most of my other friends.
but people have different communication styles, and that’s something that i eventually got used to. i wonder if this isn’t the way it’s “supposed” to be. carter’s mom still gets together every year with her college roommates; i’ve always thought that sounds great, that that’s just what i want to happen with my friends. but i wonder if it will. i mean, we see each other now, but eventually we won’t be in the same cities, or we won’t feel so disconnected by being apart. maybe it’s up to me to be the instigator, to send the emails, to make the phone calls, and not worry if i don’t get any in return. it probably is, but it doesn’t make clicking “send” or picking up the phone any easier.
i guess i just like the validation that comes from being on the receiving end. to know that i am thought about.
