I flew home Sunday evening after a weekend on my own in Washington DC. My flight arrived about 20 minutes early, which turned out to be juuust enough to make it home for hugs and snuggles before Emma went to bed. I went for the wedding of two of my very best friends from college. It was small and kids weren’t invited, but I really wanted to be there so after considering a few options, the only thing that really made sense was for me to go on my own. I had a great time.
Life since college has been as it was meant to be. We graduated and scattered across the country to Atlanta, DC, New York, Houston. We started jobs, got married, changed jobs, had kids. We’ve kept in touch, some better than others. Still, for a moment here or there, I had to remind myself that it was 2014, not 2000. There is something achingly comforting about the company of old friends.
At one point, Carter turned to me and asked “are you reveling in kid-free bliss or are you mired in kid-free sadness?” (I’m paraphrasing, but you get the idea.) As it turns out…I felt both, and neither, and more.
Before I left, I would have told you that I was really excited by the prospect of a weekend on my own. I looked forward to sleeping in a little, reading in the quiet of my hotel room, catching up with my college friends, going for runs around the Mall, and of course the wedding itself. And don’t get me wrong — I did every single one of those things and enjoyed them immensely.
And yet the weekend also felt a little weird. It was strange to be at a wedding without my own spouse. It was strange to wake up in my hotel room alone. It was strange to see tourists pushing strollers while I ran on my own, thinking about my own child a thousand miles away. When I saw Emma via Facetime on Sunday morning, I nearly cried at the sight of my little girl, seemingly 6 inches taller and with 20 new words in her vocabulary. Even though it was only a couple days, I missed Jose and Emma so much more than I expected.
I don’t know when this group of friends will be together again like we were on Saturday. Maybe soon, maybe never. We make new friends and remember old ones, plant new roots and reminisce about the past. I felt such nostalgia for my college days while simultaneously craving the company of my husband and daughter. And then I truly realize, for perhaps the first time, that this dichotomy — old vs. new, then vs. now — is normal and natural and inevitable.
And life rolls on.
Great photo! It makes me miss my GT bunch too! Unfortunately it seems like the nature of Tech is that people tend to scatter after graduation, so the times you see people become few and far between. But nice to see people when the chance arises.
Lovely post