6 Months and Counting

On March 14, we drove home from our week-long spring break trip to Rosemary Beach. When we left a week earlier, coronavirus was definitely in the news. While we were in Florida, we watched as the Houston Rodeo shut down early, the NBA cancelled the rest of its season, and our school system said they wouldn’t reopen as planned after spring break.

So yep. That was 6+ months ago, and here we are, still in the middle of a pandemic. Fun times!

I’ve listened to the Girl Next Door podcast for several years now, and on their most recent episode they talked about how they’re doing in several different aspects of wellness, and I thought it’d be nice to document my own feelings at the moment.

Physical

Not leaving the house much has obviously impacted my activity level. I avoid looking at my Fitbit steps per day because it’s just depressing! I’m also spending a ton of time sitting at my desk — which of course I did a lot of at the office as well, but it feels worse at home because I don’t get up much, and when I do, I don’t walk very far.

I have been an on-again/off-again runner for 2 decades now, and spent February through May in a great routine. Then summer hit, and the heat arrived, and I’ve done very little exercise in the last 3 months. Combine that with being so sedentary during the work day and it feels…not great. I’ve gained about 5 pounds in the last 6 months, and I know I would feel better overall if I got more activity. Fall and cooler weather will be a good springboard to get me back in a more active routine. I’ve heard good things about the Peloton app and would like to try that out.

I am generally eating well at mealtimes. We use Hello Fresh for 3 dinners each week, and I often eat any leftovers for lunch the next day. But being at home all day means I tend to snack more, and a run to Sonic for ice cream has become a fairly frequent occurrence as a fun way to get out of the house or celebrate the end of a long week.

And then of course there’s sleep. I never get enough. I’m like a broken record in this regard. I know I would feel better if I were more well-rested.

So physically, in the grand scheme of things I’m doing fine — no illnesses or injuries. But I could definitely be taking better care of my body.

Mental/Emotional

Not gonna lie — I’ve had struggles over the last 6 months, just like pretty much everyone else I know. Some days are good, and some are bad. I have felt more anxiety in recent years than I’ve ever had before, and chalk it up to just having a lot of things going on. This time period in particular — where I have young kids, and I’m also navigating the prime of my career — seems tough. Throw in a pandemic and yeah, I am not always able to stay cool and calm.

There are days when I feel like I’ve totally got this, and days where I am absolutely convinced I am ruining not on my own life but my kids’ futures as well. The constant stress of COVID-related decisions is also burdensome — is it ok to do this activity? What about seeing those friends? Should we do in-person school or stick with virtual? Decision fatigue is real, and when you add having to assess risk associated with every decision, well, it’s exhausting.

Social

We’ve had exactly 3 close social interactions with friends in the last 6 months. In June, we did an outdoor dinner and swimming with one of Emma’s friends and her family. This month, we did an outdoor dinner and playdate with one of Charlotte’s friends and her family, and then an outdoor dinner and swimming with longtime friends. That’s it.

I have also had several socially distant driveway hangouts with two of my friends, where we each brought a lawn chair and snacks and chat out in the driveway or on the patio for a few hours. These have been fantastic.

Interestingly, my virtual social life has really taken off thanks to several quilty groups! Both the Gulf Coast and Houston modern guilds are meeting online, and another friend started the “Virtual Quilt Guild” with people from all over the country. Another group of quilty friends has a standing Zoom meeting to just hang out and sew. It’s been really awesome, and I hope at least some of it continues even when in-person get-togethers become a thing again.

Financial

Both Jose and I are in jobs that can be done via telework, so we have been spared thus far from the extensive economic fallout associated with the pandemic. In a bizarre twist, we are actually better off because of all the ways we are spending less. There are small savings — using less gas, spending less eating out, not spending on kids activities or family activities. But there are much bigger savings too — we didn’t go on any vacations this summer, our daycare discounted tuition during the months they were closed, and we haven’t needed childcare for Emma since March.

It is a very strange and uncomfortable feeling to watch our savings grow while knowing that many, many people are facing financial ruin. I am thankful that we are doing well, but mindful of the fact that many are not.

Vocational

I had been acting in a new role at work since October, and it became official in mid-February, just before we all went to teleworking. Work has been a struggle for me these last 6 months. I was already battling some pretty severe imposter syndrome and associated feelings of just doing a crap job, and trying to interact with the team from home while also having both kids home really intensified my feelings of inadequacy.

On top of that, the fact that my job involves many long meetings became a serious issue for me. It is one thing to sit through a day of meetings in the office; it is quite another to listen to a day of meetings from home with no childcare and a zillion other distractions. I felt like I was failing at my job, while also harboring some serious resentment about the expectations that I felt were being placed on me.

And honestly, my motivation for work in the midst of everything else going on (and with all the distractions of being at home) is just really low.

The good news is that things have improved in the last month, as I worked with my management to bring someone into a rotational assignment to work with me, so I’m no longer an army of one. This is something we anticipated needing at some point anyway, and the pandemic definitely forced my hand.

I’m anticipating that I will continue to work from home for at least the rest of 2020, and it will be interesting to see how this extended work-from-home period impacts plans and expectations for how we work in the future.

Environmental

Spring was wonderful, with great weather and the flexibility to spend more time outdoors than we have in previous years. Summer wasn’t as nice, of course, but I have high expectations for fall.

I’ve heard so many of my friends say they’re tired of their own house, but I really haven’t felt that. I like our house, and I like being at home. We’ve even managed to spruce up a few things, like adding a nice table and chairs to the back patio and getting it power washed. We had tentatively planned to renovate our master bathroom this year, but don’t want people coming in and out of the house for that. Still, I realized I could make a few updates myself that might make it feel nicer. I’ll be ordering new cabinet hardware and doorknobs soon, and we might do a bit of painting.

Overall

I realized last night that 6 months in, being home all the time has definitely become the norm. There are things that I miss — meeting up with friends in person, being able to easily pop into a store without masks and caution, and family activities. (I’m really going to miss several fall events and festivals, all of which are cancelled this year.) I miss pedicures. I miss vacations.

But it’s also been surprising and a bit eye-opening to realize what I don’t really miss. It doesn’t bother me much that I haven’t been in a restaurant in 6 months. I don’t feel stir-crazy in our house. I don’t really miss my office. I miss some of the kids activities, but I don’t miss — at ALL — the morning and evening rush associated with getting everyone up and out of the house and then home and scarf down dinner, and on and on.

Will I be back in March writing an update on my feelings after 1 year of social distancing? I hope not, but at the moment it does seem likely. I don’t know when or how this all ends…but I remain optimistic that it will.