4 Years

Dear Emma,

Happy Birthday! Four years ago you were a wiggly, wailing newborn and today you are a smiling, energetic, smart 4-year-old. We absolutely love you to pieces and I’m so happy to be your mom.

There are so many things I want to remember about you at this age, as you alternate between seeming so little but also so grown up. You are learning that some things can be negotiated, especially when you bat your eyes and say “please Mommy pleeeease?” In recent weeks you’ve started to preface a lot of your announcements — or stall for time — with an “I just want to tell you onnnnne more thing.” You’ve picked up so many phrases, from the typical “hey you guys” when you want all of us to look at you to the funnier “oh my goodness” when something surprises or pleases you. And even though Charlotte is a reminder, I sometimes forget what it was like before you could talk. It’s just so darn fun to have conversations with you.

You have such an awesome personality — happy with a side of goofy. You’re generally agreeable and obedient (although you certainly have your moments), and are always ready to laugh or make a funny face. I haven’t gotten a ton of one-on-one time with you in the last year, since splitting up usually means you go with Daddy while I take Charlotte. But there have been a few times in the last month when you and I have done things on our own, like a birthday party for one of your friends or even just running an errand. It’s fun to be out and about with you as my sidekick, and that time with you has really made me realize how much you’ve grown!

You became a big sister this year, and have settled into the role beautifully. No one else can make Charlotte laugh like you do, and as she’s grown bigger and more aware, it’s clear that she adores you in return. A couple days ago as we drove to swimming lessons, I heard both of you giggling in the back seat. “Mommy, look!” you said, “I’m holding Charlotte’s hand!” I turned around at the next stoplight to see, saw the scene above, and couldn’t stop smiling the rest of way. I hope you continue to love and be there for each other for the rest of your lives.

Occasionally someone will ask me what you’re into these days, and honestly I’m never quite sure how to answer. You like coloring and puzzles. You like pretending to be a princess or a superhero. You like hiding under the covers on our bed. You’re not really into one particular thing because instead, you’re kind of into everything! You’re always interested in doing something new — or in doing something yourself, whether it’s getting your own snack out of the pantry or pulling the basket as we shop. I love watching as you take in the world around you.

We are moving soon, and unlike your little sister, I expect that you will have some memories of our life in this house that last into adulthood. That makes me happy, but it also makes me a little anxious about how you will react to the change. We’ve talked a lot about our new house, and your new room, and how we will bring all of your books and toys and things with us. Then you asked if Charlotte would come to the new house too, and it suddenly occurred to me that maybe all you really need to know is that our family will do it together.

We will, Emma. For a long, long time. And no matter where we go or what we do, I’ll always do whatever I can to make sure we stick together.

Love,
Mama

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