1 Month

Dear Charlotte,

Hooray, you are here! And whoa, you have been here for a whole month already! I’d been told that time goes crazy fast once subsequent kids arrive and that has definitely proven true so far — September disappeared in a flash and a blur and a blink.

Your birth was so different from Emma’s — so much faster and easier, which in retrospect was possibly a sign of the good things to come. But before I go on, I might as well just admit from the start that there will probably be a lot of “this time” vs. “last time” in these letters. It’s hard to me to avoid comparing what life was like with Emma at your age (and likely every subsequent age) to what I’m now experiencing with you. Please don’t worry though. I’m confident that there will be many things about you that defy comparison! I have no doubt you will be your own unique person, and I’m very much looking forward to getting to know you as you learn and grow.

But back to those “good things to come” that I mentioned! Your first month passed quickly and easily, just like your birth. I sound like a broken record at this point, but you are seriously the calmest baby I have ever seen. Now, I admit that I haven’t seen a ton of babies so maybe that doesn’t mean much — but still. I find myself using words like “relaxed” and “content” and “just plain chill” to describe you. You don’t cry a lot and when you do, all it takes is some snuggling (or maybe a bottle if it’s been a few hours!) and you’re calm again. Your big eyes study my face intently when I hold you, and as you emerge from the postpartum haze you are often happy to just sit and look around, taking things in.

As anxious as I was for you to arrive, I was also anxious about adding another baby to our family. My first year as a mom was a little rough and the prospect of going through that again — or it being even worse, since I’d have two kids instead of just one — was really intimidating. But so far I feel really good. Your demeanor is a major factor in this, but I also think that I’m more relaxed this time around. That I did a better job of managing my expectations. That for whatever reason, I’m happier to just hang out with you in my arms instead of trying to “get stuff done.” Because so far, I am enjoying life with an infant. Yes, enjoying! That’s something I didn’t expect to say, and I’m so happy to realize that it’s true.

Your big sister is equally enamored of you, of course. She looks for you as soon as she gets home from school and often wants to kiss you, pat your head, hug you, hold you. Dad went back to work this week and had an early morning meeting on Wednesday, so you and Emma and I all trooped over to the daycare to drop her off. It was my first time getting all three of us out of the house at once, and I’m happy to report that we made it to daycare on time. Emma doesn’t call you “my sister” yet but instead refers to you as “my baby” — and she was so excited to show “her baby” to her friends and teachers.

Charlotte, you’re only a month old but I’m not exaggerating when I say that in some ways it feels like you have always been here. You have joined our family so seamlessly, so effortlessly — and so happily! I am excited to have you in our foursome, and I look forward to all the months and years to come.

Love,
Mama