Somewhere along the rambling road of my web surfing recently, I came across a 2012 post by Hayley Morgan of The Tiny Twig titled “I Don’t Do It All.” This is a recurring theme in the mommy/lifestyle blog world and like most of them, Hayley included a list of all the ways she is actually imperfect despite how things may appear online.
I both love and hate these posts — even though I’m almost certainly guilty of typing similar things, especially in the last couple years since becoming a parent. On one hand, it’s usually fun (and funny) to see “real life” as opposed to a polished blog image. But I also chafe at the idea that people need to justify any perceptions about their online presence at all. I mean, isn’t that the beauty of our online lives? We can present ourselves more or less how we want. And while I’d never encourage outright lying, I’m also totally ok if you don’t ever write about how “real” you are by posting a photo of your dirty laundry (literally).
I digress…
Anyway, there was one item on this particular I-don’t-do-it-all list that I really liked:
I don’t get down on the floor and play much with my kids. I’ve always struggled with this as a mom (and that means most likely some of you have, too). How do stay-at-home moms actually play with their kids all day? Don’t Legos and monster trucks and cars get old? Instead, we do a craft or run an errand or read. Mostly, though, I encourage them to play together (and they ARE the best of friends) or I encourage them to find their own fun.
This has been rattling around in my head ever since I read it because here’s the thing: I am one of those people, one of those moms who struggles with playing with my kid. I can’t pretend to be a horse indefinitely because I get tired of being manhandled by a 2-year-old. I can only pretend that bathwater is tea so many times before I’m kind of over it for the day. And I admit that I get bored when we do the same 12-piece puzzle five times in a row, regardless of how proud I am that she can do it in the first place.
But I am slowly realizing that this is TOTALLY OK, for so many reasons. Emma spends every weekday surrounded by kids her age, so it’s not like she’s lacking for social interaction. And when we’re at home, she is more and more capable of entertaining herself reading books, playing with Little People, doing the afore-mentioned puzzle another 3 times, or any number of other activities.
And doing a craft, or running an errand, or reading a book — the things Hayley mentions that they do instead of “playing”? At least two of those three things sound really fun to me, and even though errands may not seem like play to us as adults, that doesn’t mean they’re not fun for a kid. Those things ARE play to them, or at least they are to Emma. Two of her favorite activities are helping me get the mail and grocery shopping at HEB.
So instead of using “I don’t play with my kid much” as a sign of an imperfect life, I’m starting to view it exactly as the opposite. Encouraging my kid to learn to make her own fun? That seems like a GOOD thing — a life skill, even — in my book.
