This Mom Gig

Jose got back last night from a 2-turned-3.5-day trip to Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Alabama. He left on Sunday afternoon and was supposed to be back on Tuesday, but had to stay an extra night when his original return flights were cancelled because of the impending winter weather. He spent all day yesterday waiting out delays to his flight from Huntsville to Atlanta, and then more delays to his flight from Atlanta to Houston. For a while there, I thought he’d have to spend the night in Atlanta but after 12+ hours of travel, he finally made it home at 8:30.

On Monday afternoon, the predicted weather also caused both the daycare and JSC itself to make preemptive calls to close the next day. So on Tuesday I ended up with an unexpected day off work, with Emma at home, and with no spouse to help out. I know that’s a daily reality for a lot of people, but it’s definitely not for me and to be honest, I was a little freaked out by the prospect of having to keep an 18-month-old entertained all day when it was too cold and icy to leave the house or even play outside.

So when I woke up that morning, I was more anxious than excited about the day ahead. Lame, right?

But despite my neuroses, it turned out to be a lovely day. We got up and ate had breakfast — mini waffle, raspberries, banana and milk for Emma, and an english muffin and coffee for me. I trapped her in the bathroom and she looked at her books while I showered. She played in the living room while I cut some fabric for a project. The predicted icy weather didn’t actually occur in our area, so at 10:45 we headed out to meet a group of friends for an early lunch, where Emma had fun trying to steal Jake’s food as she waited for her own grilled cheese.

(Side note: sometimes Emma still seems so small, but compare her to a baby half her age and she seems huge!)

She fell asleep in the car on the way home around 12:45, and I managed to successfully pull off a transfer from the car to her crib without her waking up — amazing! She napped until 2:45 and then we relaxed on the couch watching Curious George for a bit. I dug out our portable high chair and attached it to the kitchen island so she could watch while I made some broccoli slaw I’ve been craving. We climbed the stairs to the bonus room and had a jam session on the keyboard. We skyped with my mom and dad, and then she played and stole bites of apple while I made chicken meatballs for dinner. We ate, we skyped with Jose in Huntsville, Emma had a bath, we read books, and she went to bed. I ran on the treadmill, cleaned up the kitchen, did some cross stitch, and finally went to bed myself.

All in all, it was a perfectly ordinary and perfectly enjoyable day.

I’m learning, but still often forget, that parenthood doesn’t have to be this massive, stressful, all-consuming thing. Emma can play with me and be happy, or play by herself and be happy, or follow me around “helping” with various chores and be happy. (She can also be cranky doing all of those things, but you get the idea.) The point is that I don’t have to be perfect; I just have to be there. Pull her around the living room in the wagon. Talk to her. Let her press the buttons to start the washing machine. Give her a piggyback ride. And yes, use Sesame Street as a momentary distraction.

Being a mom is really hard, but it gets a lot easier when I just relax and quit second-guessing myself.

Maybe I’ll get the hang of this mom gig yet…