Gray & Rainy

Saturday morning before sunrise

Everywhere I go, stores are selling fall things — pumpkins, decorations, fall spice mixes.  People are putting out fall decorations.  No Halloween decorations yet, but it’s only a matter of time.  And the gray, rainy, lazy weekend really hammered things home.  If only the temperature would catch up…

I didn’t do much this weekend, and it was very relaxing.  I ran the Toughest 10K on Saturday morning and went out for a girl’s breakfast yesterday, but other than that I laid low.  Surfed the internet.  Watched some movies.  Cooked some dinners.  Went along with Jose as he shopped for a stereo/receiver for the bonus room.

I’ve started to worry that I’m not being social enough.  It’s irrational, but still there.  There are friends I haven’t really seen in a while, and activities that I hear about only after the fact that would have been fun to do.  It’s been hard for me recently to find a balance between spending time with Jose, spending time with friends, and relaxing at home.  I’m a homebody at heart.  I could not leave the house for an entire weekend, and it wouldn’t bother me too much — and I think that tendency affects what I feel like doing at any given opportunity.  But I don’t want to become a hermit.

I saw a comic this morning that went like this:  “Here’s the thing…You grow up with huge dreams…dreams of fame and travel and awards and romance and immortality…Then one day you wake up and find your life is nothing more than a string of Saturdays spent at Home Depot.  When did new vinyl windows replace my dreams?”

It made me laugh because it’s kind of true.  I think that’s just how life goes.  It’s not that I don’t have dreams of fame and travel and awards…it’s just that they’ve changed, I guess.  They’re calmer now.  These days, my main goal is just to be happy and for the most part, I really am.  Work is slow right now due to political issues and lack of a focused space exploration goal.  And I’m in a massive rut with regards to some of my personal design projects that I need to escape.  But other than that?  Life is good.