I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. It’s no one thing in particular; rather, it’s a lot of small things that are making me feel panicky when stacked atop each other. That said, you don’t really have to read the rest of this entry unless you want to see how neurotic I can be…
I’m moving to a new group at work within the next month. What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t work hard enough for them? What if that really quiet guy thinks I’m annoying? What if moving into the same office as someone who means a lot to me is too much for us?
Because I’m leaving my current group, I suddenly find myself with a lot of wrap-up tasks on my plate. Unfortunately, we always procrastinate when it comes to knowledge capture, and I find myself with a long list of things I know and processes I’ve developed that I want to document so that the next person won’t have so many struggles. How am I going to get all that done? Because on top of that, I want to spend some serious time studying for my back room flight control position since I discovered that I have so many areas for improvement after last week’s midpoint. How am I going to fit all this in?
This morning I missed the presentation of Matt’s big award, the one he got for working his butt off over the past year, which bummed me out. I missed it because it was early and I wasn’t at work, and I forgot because I didn’t have it on my calendar, and I didn’t have it on my calendar because my palm pilot had a dead battery. Because of the lack of calendar, I also missed a telecon that, by a lucky twist of fate, didn’t happen anyway due to technical difficulties. When did my life become so scheduled that I can’t live without my palm pilot?
I’m leaving town on Thursday night for three days of vacation in the mountains followed by four days of a work-related conference. My paper is done, but when am I going to put together the presentation? How am I going to get my triathlon training done when I won’t have my bike? I’m excited to be going on vacation, but what if the weather is bad? What if Jose doesn’t like my style of camping and hiking? What if he doesn’t want to climb to the top of that 13,000 foot mountain, but I do? What if I can’t build a fire? Sadly, despite my camping experience, I must admit to never having built a fire on my own! What if we can’t find Gavin and Jen on Saturday when we’re supposed to meet up with them?
The HARRA website still needs some major work. People keep asking me about feature on the route creater that I don’t know how to answer because I don’t understand the Google hack that the previous webmaster set up. Why did I think that my web skills are up-to-date? How am I going to easily manage this web database so that I don’t have to manually type in all the changes?
I’m skipping the Astros game tonight because I went last night, and I just don’t have time or energy for two nights in a row. Why did I get season tickets this year if I knew I was going to be so busy? I’ve used maybe 3/4 of our ~20 games so far, but probably more like half. Wasted money. Why do I always waste money?
The Cinco Ranch Tri is on August 27, and the Summertime Blues Tri is September 3. I’m doing both of them, and I’ve been training consistently for more than two months for them (which is saying a lot for me). But I haven’t really gotten much faster, and I haven’t lost any weight. What’s the point in doing all this exercise if I’m not improving something?
I feel your pain, girl. I know you’re probably not fishing for advice and just wanting to vent a little. So I’ll just say, Sarah, I think you are a fabulous person. You have a kind and sweet spirit. As crazy as your life may seem, I know you brighten up everyone’s day. My kids loved you and loved the tour. Basically, YOU ROCK!!! Now take a deep breath and kick butt and take names. You’re going to be fine.
Sounds like that vacation is coming at just the right time. I feel your frustration; right before I read it, I was thinking of the gazillion things that have dropped off the plate this week because of other unexpected events. I live by a schedule; I like schedules and when I get off the plan it stresses me out.
Just picture the example of the jar filled with rocks, then pebbles, then sand. If you get the rocks done first, then the pebbles, the sand won’t seem so insurmountable.
But more important than that – have fun on your vacation!
You’ve never made a fire?! We’ll fix that.
You are a bundle of nerves. Don’t know what to tell you. Building a campfire can be actually difficult even for some people who do it all the time – it takes a knack or a system or something, it takes practice. But getting the fire started with the peanut gallery watching is part of the fun. And also think of all the other camping “firsts” you can have sharing a tent with your boy! And if he doesn’t want to climb a 13,000 ft mountain, well, just pretend you’re hiking with me and leave him behind to enjoy the view and meet up with him on your way back down!
Ok, I know that was comforting for only a a couple questions. But in the end you have to ask yourself so what? None of that is life or death any more than $1000 of dental work or an old couch is for me.
I hate to admit I read your boring workout blogs, or encourage you to write more of them, but there have been a few themes of what you’re getting out of your tri training: improved endurance and a focused reason to get out and exercise every day during the summer when you usually hate exercising
arent you glad NOW that you DIDNT go to that Astros game?? Jesus it was 18 innings!!!!!
Hang in there! We’re in the same boat! (Not sure if your coming out to RTW on Saturday was the reason that Gavin’s Dad came out, but it was good to see Mike nonetheless. I count him one of the umpteen friends I have from RTW.)
I’m not sure either, but I know Gavin had told Mike I’d be there last Saturday.
Gavin probably would’ve come too if he’d been in town.