I’ve been working on and

I’ve been working on and off on a project for the last couple years. More off than on. It suffered a lot of setbacks, but none was bigger than the fact that as I tried and failed to get it working, I simply lost my motivation to work on it. It was my project and my responsibility, and yet despite my efforts (I would’ve said best efforts, but that would obviously be a lie) I let it sit around going nowhere fast, working on it in fits and starts here and there but never really concentrating on it hard enough to get it to an end. My last big push was last fall, and the results were bad, and so I let it sit some more. Have you ever done that? Known that you should be working harder, felt guilty about slacking on something you know could be great if you gave it the time, and yet let it die anyway? That’s what I did.
Now the plug is about to be pulled.
And while I’m a little relieved that it won’t be hanging over my head anymore, I’m mostly just mad at myself for letting things get to this point. I had a lot of opportunities to make something of this project, and to take it somewhere potentially cool, but I didn’t. It’s no one’s fault but mine, and now that the coffin is officially being prepared, I feel really, really lousy.