It’s official. I am a freak, and freak out about stupid things. I’m not saying this with any real expectation of changing; after all, I’ve had almost 28 years to pick up these mental blocks. I’m just stating it for future record, so that no one can accuse of me of not at least realizing one of my faults, even if I seem helpless to change it.
I watched the sim this morning. Marc was working it. He got easier cases than I did on Monday night; of course, it probably just seemed that way because I wasn’t actually in the hot seat. If I’d been working, I doubt I would’ve come up with the answers as quickly. Something about nerves. Every time I go to a sim, as the clock counts down to launch on the first run, my heart starts pounding and my hands go all clammy. We might as well be launching for real instead of just in the computer!
Ah, but that is exactly the point.
I am already ready for the weekend. It has been a weird week. I can’t shake an anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it is so annoying.
Nick posted archives of his old Page du Jour entries that he did while he lived in France, and I just had fun reliving the week that I was there and made him translate large blocks of text into French when he was really tired already. 
My week started on January 18, 2003.
You are a freak. Its verrrry funny.
On the excitement thing, that’s part of why being a flight controller is so fun. Definitely more fun than being an at-your-desk engineer (Interestingly, the feeling, and the evolution of those feelings with additional training, is very akin to my experiences flying and sailing.) Not that I’m the soul of flight controller experience or anything, but you almost learn to put on a fascade of calm-relax, even if your insides are turning inside out, and then eventually you actually are calm and relaxed and you didn’t even notice the transition.
Of course, that all blew out of the water for me for me when I worked the real thing for the first time. I wonder if it will always be like that.