A Story, by Kent:
So I was changing the water jug on top of the water cooler on Monday afternoon. Well as I was putting the new jug on, I put it on top of the base however it didn’t settle into place. It was supporting its weight on the valve that prevents water from spilling out when you turn the bottle upside-down to mount it on the base. Anyway, so I shimmied the bottle around a bit and BAM! It slid into place, however sadly on my ring finger on my left hand. OW! So I bruised the area under my fingernail pretty good, and the lower 1/3 or so of the fingernail bed was dark purple immediately after the mashing. Several hours later it was still throbbing since the blood under the nail had no where to go, and the increasing pressure in my finger kept me awake a good portion of the night. So the next morning I went into our medical facility at work and they fixed me up, however they had to burn a hole through my fingernail with a cauterizing tool!!! It was pretty cool and it looks really gross right now. I would say the hole is about a millimeter or a little over in diameter which is pretty big for a hole in your fingernail. Anyway after the nurse burned a hole into my finger the blood under the nail could come rushing out, and I’ve been keeping a band-aid on it because it’s still bleeding : ) She said the nail might fall off, but she wasn’t sure since the entire nail bed hadn’t been damaged, just most of the bottom part. If it doesn’t fall off then a new nail will just grow over it, and it’ll look bad for a while. I laughed at her when she said that apologetically. As if I care what my fingernails look like. It was very exciting minus the loss in sleep. The nurses were very amused that I injured myself with a water jug considering that I work in a manufacturing plant where people actually work in areas where injury is more plausible. They told me I should tell people that I injured myself rescuing someone or saving a kitten from a tree. However I find great amusement in my wound from the break room.
He has taken to sending me funny emails. Here’s one from last week:
I wonder if my apt complex would mind if I converted the pool into The Amazing Kent’s Ocean Life Extravaganza! I could have sea lions and an orca! Ooo but they don’t mix too well, however I’m sure I can train them to be the best of friends. Perhaps they will even play patty-cake together. Tickets will be expensive, and the revenue could pay for my rent plus all the training whistles I could ever want. Now I know what you’re thinking, “gee Kent, I don’t think anyone could ever have too many whistles,” but there is such a thing as too many. If you have too many whistles, eventually the sea lions and orca will get hold of them and start training people. We can’t have that happen. I know, I know…you’re thinking “Gee Kent, on a government salary how could I ever afford a ticket to TAKOLE [pronounced “Tak-OLE!”] (The Amazing Kent’s Ocean Life Extravaganza)?”, but don’t you worry…your ticket will always be complimentary.