I haven't given a fantasy

I haven’t given a fantasy baseball update in a while. That’s because BOTH OF MY TEAMS SUCK. As in, they REALLY suck.
Team #1, NL only. My keepers, i.e. my best players, this season are Eric Gagne, Jim Thome, and Scott Rolen. For those keeping score at home, that’s:

• Eric Gagne, who started the season on the disabled list, just returned a week ago, and hasn’t seen a save opportunity yet because the Dodgers started losing,
• Jim Thome, who just got back from a stint on the disabled list with a strained lower back, an injury that affects your entire game, and he’d been in a slump since the season started anyway with only one measly home run, and
• Scott Rolen, who sprained his shoulder and is out until at least late June.

Team #2, both leagues. Yesterday I had SIX, count them, SIX players on the disabled list. I can only carry three on the DL before they start taking up roster spots, so yesterday I dropped Jeff Bagwell, whose playing days are likely through thanks to that darn shoulder. But I can’t really drop any of the remaining five:

• Curt Schilling, pitcher extraordinaire, who pitched the freaking World Series with blood seeping into his sock but is now being sidelined by the same ankle injury,
• Mike Hampton, who was crusing along with his 1.96 ERA keeping my team from being dead last in that category until he discovered a strained forearm and went on the DL,
• Francisco Rodriguez, my best closer, also with a strained forearm,
• Jeremy Affeldt, my third closer, on the DL with a groin strain, leaving me with freaking Braden Looper as my only closer, and
• Mark Loretta, who was my only 2B until he needed surgery on a torn ligament in his thumb that will keep him out 8-10 weeks.

It’s not even June and I have already given up on both of my teams for the season. There’s no coming back from this.
At least the Astros won last night. That is cause for a minor celebration — with the way things are going for them this season, who knows when they might win again.