Bear with me through this entry. I feel worried and guilty and anxious already, so please keep that in mind if you choose to comment.
I woke up this morning feeling better, so after sleeping in, I came to work. I am still a little ill-feeling, and shaky from dehydration, but I decided to come to work because I wanted to listen in on a telecon, needed to help Jake finish up his exit pitch, and because I was wary of spending another day at home with Leo.
I am having buyer’s remorse about getting Leo. I know it has only been a week, and on top of that, a week where I had to go out of town and then returned to a bout of food poisoning (or some 24-hour bug). But I am having a lot of second thoughts about having a dog.
I’ve only mentioned it to Nick so far, who when I said “buyer’s remorse” asked if it was the money. It’s not. I understood that getting a dog would mean spending money, and I am ok with that.
He then asked if I don’t like the dog. It’s not that either. Leo is a great little guy. He is fairly well-behaved, almost housebroken (he peed on my trash can this morning but I think it was because I didn’t take him out immediately), and getting better. He’s very cute and cuddly. He has so much energy, so much that it is a little exhausting.
It’s not the money. It’s not Leo himself. It’s a dog, period. And I’m worrying that maybe I am not meant to be a dog owner after all.
I have thought a lot about whether maybe I felt “pressured” into this because I have so many friends with dogs who love them, and who were/are very excited about me having one of my own. But I don’t think that’s it either, because I am not the type of person that would be pressured all the way into actually getting a dog, bringing him home, buying supplies and food, and taking him to the vet if I didn’t think that I would like having this dog.
And yet I find myself thinking of taking him back.
Why? It seems so wrong — to return a dog, as if he were a piece of merchandise. I feel so guilty for even thinking it. And I would be disappointing so many people who were so excited for me last week when I brought Leo home.
He doesn’t feel like my dog yet, and I know that is because I haven’t had him for very long. But it feels like I am babysitting someone else’s dog. And when I realize that I will have him for foreseeable future and beyond, I start to fidget, and feel very anxious.
Is 27 years without a dog too much to overcome? I wonder if I made a rash decision. When I first started thinking about getting a dog, I had two other options on my plate, a new job or going to ISU. I thought “well if I don’t get either, I can get a dog,” but I thought I’d get one of them, and when I didn’t, maybe I jumped to something else before I thought it through.
I imagine taking him back to the Humane Society, and that makes me want to cry, because he is so cute and because there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. But the thought of coming back home to the way things were before makes me feel calmer. Maybe he is not for me; maybe he is meant for someone else. I just don’t know.
So please bear with me, because right now I don’t know what to do.
give it some time. you just need to get use to it.
though you know, some people just aren’t dog persons, just like some people aren’t cat persons or baby person. It doesn’t make them less cool.
Instead of taking him back, you could try to find someone in the NASA community to take him. Put him on the swap shop board, if that would make you feel less bad. : )
Give it some time. Its a big change to be responsible for another creature. I spent months anxious about Apache (longer cause she was a puppy), but that’s part of what ended up making me adore her so much, because she became such a big part of my home life so quickly. On the other hand, I never thought about returning her. Though I did periodically drop her at G&J’s because I needed a break from her constant energy.
Usually adoptions have a 30 day return policy so you don’t feel guilty about taking him back if it doesn’t suit you. If, after a week or two, you don’t feel like you want this, then start thinking about options.
Yeah, Sarah, I’d give it a little more time – like a week. If a dog isn’t for you, it isn’t, so you shouldn’t feel guilty about taking him back. But, you should give yourself a chance to make a fair decision – a weekend, a day without food poisoning, a hike or a jog with company. Then, if it’s still too much, try to find him a new owner or take him back.
When I got MacKenzie everything was perfect, she was perfect. When I brought Fozzy home it was right before I had my wisdom teeth out. I remember lying on the couch listing to him fidget in his crate all day long (I had to keem him crated because he was so misbehaved). I just remember thinking over and over again “What have I done!!”. I couldn’t get over how much I didn’t like him. I hated myself for thinking I could ever love a dog as much as MacKenzie. Then something happened. I don’t know if it was bonding during our training classes, or just time in general. He’s the same dog, I just love him so much now. I love him even more then MacKenzie (mostly because MacKenzie is Brian’s dog). Even the most experienced dog owner can have reservasions about a new dog. Dog’s are like roommates, you really have to get to know eachother. I say, give it another week. Find some activities to do with him to get some of his energy out (dog play times are great for this). Good luck!
Look back at your earlier dog-related blog entries. How often and how much have you talked about the worries of getting a dog compared to the joys? Is it possible you’ve worried yourself into a place where it’s difficult to enjoy the situation?
You’re a talented writer. What if you used that and wrote a post about your fifty favorite things about Leo and having him around instead of what he peed on or how he makes you nervous?
I do not feel like I am a pet person (ask Becca) even though I spend much time with a well-behaved, older and smart Boxer(no matter how “so-ugly he’s almost cute” he is.)
I would give it another few weeks and not feel guilty about my decision – you may or may not be a dog person at this time. If you are not, there are certainly many people who are. People who have pets certainly seem to find great enjoyment and companionship and love in them. You may or may not enjoy or need that along with the constant responsibility.