merry christmas eve. i have a few more presents to run out and get for my brothers and muh sustah, but i know what i’m buying them and where i’m getting it so i’ll knock it out in an hour and a half. just as soon as i take my shower! i just got back from a run and i stink. also, it is cold and rainy outside and i think my ears may have frozen. a warm shower will fix them.
yesterday was full of activity. i drove (borrowing katie’s car) up to durham and back to get my grandmother and bring here down to charlotte as always for the holiday. the drive up was lovely. i sang along with katie’s cds and drank in the sunshine and the open road and the trees, oh the trees! i forget how much i love trees of the non-palm, non-warm-weather, non-gulf-coastal variety. evergreens, tall and strong.
most of all, i enjoyed the time alone in the car. just me and some good music and my thoughts.
grandmother and i got back around 3:00, and in the evening i headed out to cayce and dave’s house for a night with old high school friends. christina often writes about her high school friends and how nice it is to spend time with people who knew you back when. it wasn’t until last night that i realized that i feel the same way sometimes.
cayce, andrew, amanda, and jes. they knew me back when i had such huge stars in my eyes, when working for nasa was only a dream. they knew me back when i’d never traveled anywhere else, back when i was less sarcastic and more naive, back when i’d never had my heart broken, or put back together again. they knew me when i was a north carolinian through and through. before georgia and texas and california, and before europe and mexico left their marks in my head. they knew me back when i hadn’t gone crazy, before i rediscovered sanity and peace.
they knew me before i grew up. and they got to watch me change.
last night i realized that my high school friends embody comfort, and all that is wonderful about being content. there is something magical about being with people who have known you for years, who can see the ways that you’ve changed but don’t hesitate to see the ways that you’re still the same person that they shared daily lunches on the quad with way back when.
i know that they are proud of me and who i’ve become and where i am, and that makes me feel good. and i can see their happiness as well, in their marriages and lives, and seeing them happy makes me happy too.
i have a bad habit of thinking to myself that “my life would be better if only…” if only this, or that, or i won the lottery. i need reminding that my life is really good. my high school friends can do that like no other.
they are one of my comforts this christmas.
