i got shot up today. hepatitus a in the right arm, hepatitus b in the left. thank god i didn’t need another tetanus, as i don’t have three arms, so where would they have put it? anyway. now i’m ready to go to mexico. si.
i talked to christina this afternoon. she is amazing. i so often wish that i could be like her, and have the healthy outlook that she does. i let things affect me so strongly. yesterday i felt worthless. today i just feel nothing. this week’s allowance of tears has been used up i guess.
my credit card company sent me a booklet that summarizes all my charges for the entire year of 2001. it is neat. i can see what i spent all my money on. my most expensive purchase was $847.30 for the aerospace shirts that aiaa sold last spring. ok, so that doesn’t really count, because i got reimbursed. so the most expensive purchases of things for me are: $734.38 for my beautiful monitor and other assorted computer things on october 27, $666.50 and $658.00 on a plane ticket to europe and back and a eurail pass to use while there, and $358.53 on a plane ticket to san francisco to visit stanford back in april. $235 for a new set of contacts. $280.77 for my beautiful bicycle. not counting europe and san fran, i still spent almost $1000 on plane tickets. boo for spending money, but yay for travel.
anyway. that is my credit card spending. i know, the excitement abounds.
(9:50 p.m.)
my arms hurt. the nurse said the shots wouldn’t make my arms hurt, but she probably didn’t know that i would be playing flute for two hours tonight. we have our concert tomorrow. unfortunately, nick and susan’s dance exhibition is the same night. so i won’t get to see the dance, and i don’t think they’ll get to see our concert. that stinks.
this afternoon was weird. i was in the a/a library and all of a sudden i just decided that being mopey wouldn’t be any fun for anyone else, and so i cheered up. i don’t understand how i am able to do that, and yet i am not able to prevent myself from falling so down in the dumps in the first place. i waffle back and forth from thinking that 1) there is something wrong with me to 2) thinking that there is something wrong with everyone else to 3) thinking that there is something wrong with the world in general and people are just unfortunate enough to be subjected to it to 4) nothing is wrong with the world, and that the world is just as much or as little as we make of it. does anyone else feel this way or am i just crazy?? <-- yes, that is a serious question. i know that i am responsible for my own happiness, and that no one person can "save" me. heh. there has been much talk lately about saving people.
anyway, i am beginning to ramble, and this type of rambling is more appropriate for my paper journal.
it is really hard to believe that september 11 was six months ago. time always manages to fly past…
