Baby #1 vs. Baby #2

I knew that the experience of having my second baby would be different from the first, but until Charlotte arrived, it was hard to imagine anything other than the way things went with Emma. Now that I’m halfway through my maternity leave, I wanted to write down some thoughts before I forget everything about this phase!

Everything about my labor and delivery with Charlotte felt different. I still plan to write a more extensive birth story in the coming weeks or months, but there are so many things that were new. With Emma, my water broke; with Charlotte, contractions started and my doctor ended up breaking my water. With Emma, I had an epidural but had to let it wear almost completely off to effectively push; with Charlotte, I got the epidural and literally never felt another moment of pain. Emma took nearly 24 hours to make her appearance; Charlotte arrived in 7 hours. Emma was born at the end of a long night; Charlotte was born in the middle of the day. Emma was delivered by a random doctor; Charlotte was delivered by my OB. After Emma I was sore for a couple weeks; after Charlotte I recovered very quickly.

Three years ago, Emma was taken to the nursery an hour or two after she was born, before I was transferred to my postpartum room. I didn’t see her again for several hours (and remember getting quite impatient for them to bring my newborn back to me). We also sent her to the nursery both nights we spent at the hospital. This time around, Charlotte only went to the nursery for a couple quick weight checks and a blood draw. She was never gone for more than ~15 minutes. No one ever offered to take her at night and we didn’t ask; the hospital has fully embraced the “rooming in” concept over the last 3 years. I don’t actually have a strong opinion on which is “better” but they definitely made for different hospital experiences.

Emma, in retrospect, was probably pretty average as babies go. She cried a lot. Not to the point of being colicky, but a lot. Charlotte is a really good baby. In the last week or so she has gotten a bit more fussy but the amount of time she spends crying is still really minimal. Case in point: we didn’t even think to put Charlotte in the baby swing until just over a week ago, and then only because it was just sitting unused in the living room. I’m tired, but nothing close to the fatigue I felt in the first month or two with Emma.

The first couple months of my maternity leave with Emma disappeared in a blur. I don’t remember doing much of anything besides baby care until the last month. Charlotte is so good that I feel like I should be getting a ton done, but of course even a “good” baby requires a lot of time and attention. There is feeding, diapering, bathing, and (for me) pumping. Still, while I may not be getting “stuff” done, I am generally more relaxed.

Last time the house was a wreck. This time, the house is slightly less of a wreck. I am staying on top of the housework at the moment — dishes, laundry, etc. I feel certain that will change drastically when I go back to work, and shudder to think about the state of our house at that point.

I was diligent about tummy time with Emma; I keep forgetting to do it with Charlotte. Charlotte gets “stashed” in the bouncer or swing a lot while I handle something with Emma. I have to be aware of where I leave Charlotte if I step out of the room for a moment, or she could be the recipient of some aggressive sisterly affection (like you see here).

After Emma was born, I still left the house on my own. I distinctly remember trading time with Jose on weekends. I would stay with newborn Emma while he went to browse the bookstore; he would stay with her while I ambled around Clear Lake running assorted errands and just enjoying alone time. This time, the only times I have been completely alone since Charlotte was born have been when I’m in the car on my way to pick up Emma from daycare. I’m surprised that this realization doesn’t bother me greatly. I mean, yes, I’d love to have some alone time, but I’m not craving it, at least not yet.

Two kids obviously means I don’t have as much time for Charlotte OR for Emma. I’m split, and basically always feel like I’m ignoring one of them. And there’s the rub, right? It’s the conundrum of having more than one kid. Baby #2 is both easier and harder at the same time, and I can only assume this never really ends.

So. A lot of things are different, but one thing that’s the same? Both of my girls are awesome.