Emma’s still a few weeks shy of turning 2, but we’ve been dealing with the “screen time issue” for months already. As in, she loves it — and I still haven’t decided how much is too much.
Growing up, I didn’t watch a lot of TV. I vividly remember being allowed a single 30-minute show on weekdays and later, “sneaking” viewings of 90210 on a fuzzy black-and-white TV in my bedroom when I got older. If I had a nickel for every time my dad said “TV will turn your brain to sawdust”…well, I’d have a LOT of nickels. Still, in the end, I think I turned out pretty well, and wonder if my lack of TV watching had some part in that.
Jose, on the other hand, watched a TON of TV growing up. Cartoons, movies, horror, violence, the works — he was never limited in what he could watch. And in the end, he turned out pretty well too.
And today? Well today, TV is only one small part of it. Now there are iPhones and iPads and YouTube and apps and on-demand and…yeah. A LOT.
I’m not opposed to screen time for kids — that should be obvious enough just from the photo above. Emma plays with apps on the iPad, we watch videos on YouTube (mostly of herself, actually), we watch PBS shows like Super Why and Daniel Tiger. I don’t really consider any of these a negative…
…but then, I worry. When we come home, Emma usually asks for the iPad within minutes of walking in the door. If we say no, she whines or cries. Earlier this week we let her watch a couple musical scenes from Mary Poppins, and each evening since she’s asked for more. “Mary Poppins? Mary Poppins?” It’s the same reaction if we say no — a lot of fussing. Even though I suspect she’s actually had average or even low exposure to media compared to other kids her age, she’s still clearly infatuated by it.
So I find myself questioning the aggregate a lot. If 1 episode of Super Why is ok, are 2 episodes too many? If 5 minutes playing on the iPad isn’t a big deal, is 20 minutes too much? Where do I draw the line? And what if my dad was right and HER BRAIN TURNS TO SAWDUST??
I’m joking about the sawdust thing…except in a way, I’m not. I don’t have an answer and I’m not sure if I ever will. Man, this parenting thing is tough.
I’ve found it gets easier as they get older. They understand limits and respond to threats. We give the older boys a fair amount of iPad a day -probably about 1 hour, 2 on the weekends. More if I’m solo parenting. They only get it once a certain set of things are done (eg ready for bed, chores done (they feed the animals and pick up their things). Basically screens are the future and you are probably not serving your kid well if they are not growing up exposed to screens. I attribute part of my success to growing up with and having unlimited access to a computer from any early age. (A very early age. I have memories of programming games from early elementary school age plus I went to computer camp in late elementary school and played a lot of Oregon trail.)
Your comment reminded me that I do remember playing some very early computer games (layer cake, raise the flag) in elementary school. And at some point, we also got a Nintendo so we did that kind of video game too. In retrospect, I may have actually had more screen time than I thought, even with the TV limits.
I totally agree that screens are the future and it’s in our kids’ interest to know how to use them to their advantage. I just don’t want it to be the ONLY thing she likes, you know?
Opps c=christina not some randomite
We don’t let Isla have any screen time. I agree with you that limited screen time is not harmful. Honestly, part of the reason for it is laziness on my part. If we let Isla have some screen time, then she’ll want more and we’ll constantly be negotiating and fighting over it (I guess). Now, she doesn’t know about it, so she doesn’t ask for the pad or the TV or whatever.
To address the flip side, I know lots of parents think their kids benefit immensely because they learned the ABCs at age 2 from some app or TV show. I strongly believe there is no harm in denying screen time at this age (2 years old), which conversely I guess means I don’t think there’s any benefit to it. I’m pretty sure Isla’s life will be saturated with screens in a few years and that, given her parents, she’ll have a lot of technology aptitude.
Like Christina, both Jonathan and I wrote computer games for fun in elementary school. But there is a bit difference between that and age 2.
Since Emma is too young to negotiate with, I feel like I can’t effectively use Christina and Gavin’s tactics yet, and you’re right — there is definitely an out of sight, out of mind aspect to it at this stage. I definitely notice that Emma is still young enough to “forget” about, say, the iPad if she goes several days without using it.
We’ve used TV, tablets, and now even some computer time.
Screen time is usually in the weekend morning (when a parent is sleeping in and we’d like the kids to be a little quiet). Also more likely when there is a solo parent, although having three kids means they can play with each other. It’s also sometimes used as a carrot — finish the work you have, finish getting ready for bed, and then we can do a little more before storytime and bedtime.
At age 2, we used the tablets for drawing and reading (Kindle), that worked pretty well and we taught the kids to be careful with them. At age 3, we started with tablet games too and taught them how to use the TV and TiVO. At age four, some more educational apps/games on the tablet plus some desktop computer time to use starfall or disney junior. Oh, and the PS3… mostly Lego games like Lego Star Wars.
Carina (our 2nd grader) has started asking me about how computer games are made, so I may look into something that let’s her play around. Any suggestions?
We could get tablets for each kid, but we don’t. I prefer to them to learn how to work with each other, sharing, trading turns, agreeing on what to watch, etc. That’s helped a lot, also with other toys.
The earnest and sometimes almost-crafty negotiations with adults or each other crack me up, and I encourage it too.
I’ve been surprised at how each child has such a different reaction to screen time. My oldest needed a strict limit as a toddler and preschooler because if I let her watch even one extra show (she watched between 30 to 60 min. a day depending on age at that point) her attitude took a nose dive for hours after. I don’t know why. She was also the one to really cling to any “rules” and she’d zone into the TV. If she got an hour a day she had to watch that hour a day and would remind me.
Our second seemed to be able to watch as much as we let him without any concern. He forgets to ask for shows and is able to come in and out of a show as other things interest him. There is no right answer and we adjust our guidelines for the age and stage everyone is in.
Like everything, it is a balance – screen time isn’t bad, but I don’t think it is doing them good educationally either, especially under 5. (The good it does for tired parents and the fun of watching things counts for something though!)